Thursday, March 31, 2011

Home Sweet Home!

Doctors released me late yesterday afternoon, and I have been resting comfortably at home ever since.  Got my dog, my man and, FINALLY, a right hard cock that needs some serious tending to. 

Mark says no computer till next week (bastard!), but I'm sneaking a quickie in to say thanks to everyone that has been so supportive of me these past couple weeks.  Needless to say, I was a bit out of my mind, and hope I didn't scare anyone with my last couple poems. The last one, in particular, is a bit of a fog for me.  All I remember is A) being completely, utterly, exhausted, B) sending off a couple notes, one to my mother, that has since gotten me a mindful of trouble for worrying her so, C) crashing into a fitful sleep and, then, waking from a terrible, fevered dream, drenched in sweat, brain burning, yet cold and alone, all at the same time.  Finally, stumbling to my computer, feeling incensed with need to write down my feelings after the strange images that were racing through my brain.  

In order for me to put this episode completely to rest in my mind, I, with permission from Corey Jo, will post one more poem from my crazed induced time in mental Hell.  This was a poem I wrote for her, in her comments section, from one of her recent posts, and would like to share. First, though, I want to thank her for her post yesterday (?) with her quotes and poem from Charles Bukowski.  As much as I have hung on most every word he has ever written, I never would have thought to put it out there in such a beautiful way.  The full poem she picked is a true gem of his, that, in the thousands I have read over the years, had, at some point simply slipped my memory.  THANK YOU, COREY JO!

I was born nekkid, then gathered and robed...

Cord cut with a knife, yet been chained all my life.

Had to get free, just had to be me...
Damn right I disrobed, then begged to be probed.

When my times comes, I'll go from this world, just as I came in...

Naked, free and without any sin!!!
 RafaDe














Monday, March 28, 2011

Note from Rafa:

I am in the hospital for observation.

I've been having minor seizures, combined with heat fevers. Doctors want to keep an eye on me and run more tests.

I'm cognizant, fussy, and belligerent as a horned up bull, fix'n to mount and fuck a matador's asshole. In other words...I'm fine!

I, also, want everyone  to know, that Mark, although beautiful to look at,  is not near as funny or clever with words, he can barely form proper sentences, for God's sake, but that I will feed him things to say, as my energy level and thoughts allow.

I am not allowed my typer, so I will have to go back to the stone age, putting pen to actual paper, then,  pray dingleberry does what he is told, and types EXACTLY what I tell him to type.

He's grumbling, but when I get out of here I'll know if he does it right.  If not, there will be HELL to PAY!  I'll have to sublease Spartan's dungeon for at least the next year...if not longer.

I want to thank everyone for their comments and prayers these past couple weeks, as they have helped keep me strong.  I've tried my best to keep it all together, but have finally given into the idea that something is seriously wrong.  They don't think it's cancer, but say that I am having, "unusual brain activity".  Whatever the FUCK that means! 

My prayers, currently, are being directed inward, but my thoughts are still with those of you that have come to mean so much to me over these past several months.  Sorry to be so selfish, but I figure, being gay, I'm going to Hell anyways, like tacking on a little selfishness is gonna tip the fucking scale one way or the other.

Rafa

Friday, March 25, 2011

Fire Fire!!!

Fire Fire...My brain's on Fire!!
Find the town crier...MY FUCKING BRAIN IS ON FIRE!

Gunn'n my engine, running free, running clear
always stays up, always stays near...

The dragon's on the loose, and I'm start'n ta tire
Bogged down in the mud, filthy with mire
Head be basking on the funeral pyre!

The Dragon, she keeps coming, matches in hand...
Comes with her demons, that make up her band.
So heated up, I'm almost ablaze, 
choking and stricken within a smoldering haze
Can't find my way out of this illogical maze.
  
"911, what's your emergency?"
"Hello!  My fucking brain is on FIRE!"
You tell me to hold on, cold water's on the way
I scream and I scream, and I keep you at bay
Oil and water, not a good mix
Where's that damn dragon...I'm needing a fix?!?

Fight fire with fire!
That's what they say
Go down with the ship!
You just have to pay
Can't foot the bill?
Call for God's WILL!!
RafaDe















Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Eeny Meeny Miny Moe

Eeny Meeny Miny Moe
Catch my penis whilst it's aglow
Off to Heaven, or is it Hell?
Ring the bell,
And off I go!
 Eeny Meeny Miny Moe... I   AM   FUCKED!

F*U*C*K spells FUCK, so FUCKED I must go
Because the three kings wisely say so
Not because I'm dirty
Not because I'm clean
Just because I kissed a boy, out and about, for all have seen!

Eeny Meeny Miny Moe
I'd do it again, and not just for show
I've traveled here and I've traveled there
From the heights of Heaven
and to the depths of Hell
Oh what stories, my ass, it can tell
Just ring out your call
I'm ok with my fall
Just dig me a ditch
No need to push, I'm go'en, BITCH!
Eeny Meeny Miny Moe... I   AM   FUCKED!




















Monday, March 21, 2011

Wrastlemania

If I haven't mentioned how much I love Mark lately, then SHAME THE FUCK ON ME! 

As those of you that regularly read my posts may already know, I've been experiencing some unexplained fainting and dizzy spells as of late (Corey Jo thinks I might have gotten knocked up, but she forgets, my shitter is no place for a baby.  One has gotta be all man to go in or out of my sweet assed, turtle's cove).  

But I digress,  Mark has truly been my hero these past 10 days or so.  Commuting a 2-2 1/2 hour trip back and forth every day, so he can be with me, take time out of his own busy schedule and drive me to my tests and appointments, AND put up with my foul, pent-up, frustration induced tantrums with nary a complaint.  Fuck, I wasn't even putting out for the fucker!!

So Sunday morning came around, it was raining and miserable here in sunny So Cal, and without even asking, Mark grabs the lease, whistles for our(?) dog, and takes her out for her business.  Still a bit groggy and tired from my whatever the fuck it is, I realize a) I'm feeling better than I have in days, b) I'm finally feeling a little blood come back to my dick and c) it's SUNDAY and time for our WRASTLEMANIA!!! 

I know Mark, I know he wasn't going to push me past my limits, and up till this point, I couldn't even get on the treadmill without feeling dizzy.  So I knew he wasn't planning on our weekly ritual of wrastling about.  Getting up with a stretch and a quick pee, I throw on my jock from the last time I tried to exercise (mostly clean, but ripened just enough for my manly stank to rise to my nostrils) and put a clean one of his on the door knob to our bedroom.  

Feeling a little out of breath, I lie back down and wait for his return.  As I start to slightly nod off, I hear him come in and rustle about the house, getting the dog food out, and talking to her like she's human, and, finally, coming to the bedroom door, where, I am sure, he sees his jock hanging.  I can't help but picture him outside, shit ass grin on his face, as he completely disrobes, his thick cock plumping with excitement, and, bending at the knees, pulling up his wonderfully tight, perfect fitting jock.  Ass sticking out the open, strapped back and his plumped up cock stuffed and bulging out of the pouch.  The pictures in my mind seem to rejuvenate both my energy level and my own pouch enclosed cock.

When he comes in, he doesn't pounce, but looks at me with concern, "You sure...?"

I give him my most convincing scowl, "Bring it on, BITCH!"

Proud chest pumping, thick arms and shoulders bull rushing towards me, he dives onto the bed, slices his heavy forearms against my legs, and quickly drops me to the bed.  I'm feeling overwhelmed, but I do my best to grapple and fight against his strength.  Normally, we're pretty equal, different strength's and weaknesses, but equal in overall abilities.  However, this day, I am quickly over-matched, finding myself de-jocked, on my back and jock-tied like a hog with his now sweaty, once cock stuffed pouch, wrapped about my face.  

FUCK, but I HATE to LOSE!!!

His muscled body was far from lathered, as he made such quick work of me, but, with blood pumping, his body was warm and inviting as he wormed his way in between my legs, bound at the ankles along with my wrists, and, putting his full weight across my chest and abs, he reaches with his lips to my ears and whispers, "You ok, Rafi?"  

A little out of breath, and feeling a little light headed, I give a muffled groan, as I feel the HEAT from his cock, burning at my hole.

"Yeah, horny, so fucking horny.  I haven't cum in DAYS!"

With his cock still lodged at my hole, his fat head slippery with his fluids, I feel his breath move from my ears, as his lips travel across my neck, down to my pointy nubs, along the ridge of my rib cage, across my flat stomach, and finally to my turgid, red and flaring cock.  

"OH, FUCK!"  

I had almost forgot what it was like to be played, his magical lips brushing at my head as his tongue did flips along the length of my cock.  Now, dizzy with lust and arching my back, I let loose not only my pent up cum, but my pent up fear, anxiety, love and angst that has filled my days for the past couple of weeks.  I had a massive over load and zero control of it, as I spurted and shot my love into my beautiful Mark's sucking lips and swallowing throat.  

I might have had a small black out, as I came, but I wasn't about to tell him THAT.  I knew Mark needed some release, too, and  I wanted him to use me for his pleasure. 

"Fuck me, Mark.  I gots the itch! FUCK ME NOW!"

I think he knew I was struggling, putting on a good face, but, like my good soldier, he lubed my ass up, and shoved that big fucking dick up my ass, just how I like it.  Legs still in the air, he un-bound my ankles and wrists, and rested my legs on his shoulders.  Then, proceeded to push and pull along the walls of my burning ass, fucking me to Heaven and dropping his thick load into my Hell bound ass, as I sprayed a second load all the fuck over myself.

The rest of the day was spent relaxing and recovering from my exertions, and meditating my thoughts on today's appointment with the brain doctor.  

No real new news, on the fainting front, but I am now scheduled to get an MRI of my brain.  It's scheduled for Wednesday.
I won't lie, I'm more than a little scared...