Be it any room in my house or on my person, I keep it neat and I keep it clean. This, without question, includes my sweet, un-cherried, round mound of glory be AND the hole it be sprouting from.
I eat right, plenty of fiber and other good foods, to ensure it comes out as clean and sweet as when it went down in the first place. I'm all about a nice tight turd; not too hard, definitely not sloppy gloppy and I, especially, like to finish it all off with a nice clean sweep of Charmin. There will be no residue in, or about, my HOUSE!
Sorry, but if I'm gonna get fucked (and I AM going to get fucked), I expect a little tongue prep to get my ass salivating, and, for that action, I'll be damned if I'm gonna have any shit, of any kind, slathered about for anyone to see or smell.
All I ask in return, is the same; a nicely kept, man-musk scented chute, chomping it's ass lips in anticipation for my tongue to slither and slide up, down, in, out and all the fuck about. Prepping that sweet ass for a bulldoze ride to Heaven, Hell or wherever the fuck I decide to bluster and blow. Yet, if I see one dangl'n berry or smell even the slightest hint of shit anywhere nears me, best believe yo ass will be sent to the showers, and, not trusting your dirty ass'd self to do it right, I'll be marching right behind with a big ol' bar of soap to ram so far up your pooper you'll be shitting bubbles for a month.
Sweaty and manly...?!? That's right... Wiggle and moan, show me your throne; best you believe, I'll throw you my bone.
Shitty and gross...?!? What..., no hands or arms for a wiper? Wrap your poopy ass in a diaper, and make like the Pied Piper; shitting your pants, right the FUCK out my door!
Also, expect a right hard kick in that freshly fucked ass of yours, if, for one second, you think you'll just flip over, ass fouled mouth and all, without first bumping hips with me as we brush and rinse our toofies.
We, as gay men, may fuck, suck and wrastle about with our cocks swinging and our asshole singing, like dirty, sweaty, be-deviled wild boars, but there is no reason to look or smell the part. Sorry, just keeping it clean!
 | ||||
| Spartan?!? Pussy and beer for dinner, AGAIN?!? I already told you, if you don't eat my meat, you can't have my pudding! |
Rafa!
ReplyDeleteToo funny! I'm still laughing over that bit about Spartan. Classic, just classic. I'm too afraid to ask what happened to bring about this lesson on the proper preparation of puckers, yet I'm extremely curious at the same time.
Great post my dear. Lots of mouth watering manlieness. I'll take #4, #10, & the second from the bottom for an early Easter present. Thanks ;)
Hope you're doing better and getting your strength back. Miss you lots Darling.
ღღ
CoreyJo
LOL! Man that was hilarious! you must be startin' to get back to more like your old self with this classic of a post.
ReplyDeleteThis one's got everything, male meat manly musk, and sweet sweat soaked asses, but that's all! only sweat allowed! get that ass cleaned boy and don't turn up for anal penetration in that state again, get that brown box cleaned pwdered and prepared for a Spartan poundin'!
Yeah none of that dangleberry stuff! what a turn off! straight into the shower you have to go if you turn up for parade lookin' like that! and definitely no sex action!
LOL! great stuff love!
hope everything's good with you.
lots love Spartan
PS. fave pic is 3rd from the end, macho cap on and fresh cream just running from his face!
Raf,
ReplyDeleteSo good to see you feeling chipper. Your thoughts always crack me up. (in a good way);)
You are definately original and always interesting.
Sassy
I totally agree, Rafa! I am meticulous about my chute!
ReplyDeleteXO FFB
Oh, Corey Jo, I like to think my thoughts are a bit like the ocean waves...you can ponder them, marvel at them, even ride them, assuming you got the balls for it...but understand them?!? I don't know...I say leave that shit for the dolphins, the moon and THE Almighty above!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I almost can't fucking believe, AGAIN, I have posted a nasty ol' pic of hairy pussy!! I swear, you, Spartan and you two's pussy loving hearts are a bad influence on ME! I'm already finding myself anesthetized by it all...next thing I know, I'll be balls deep in one and have to give up my GODDAMN GAY CARD!
FUCK, I'll need a stiff drink to get through that shit! Prolly be the only thing stiff for miles to cum...
Rafa
Spartan, seriously, is it THAT much to fucking ask for an ass clean enough to eat off of? Fuck, I don't care if you have to go to Petco, where the pets GO, to get yourself a goddamn sanitary shave! If you can't keep your shit out of your bum hairs, I wanna see some fucking razor burns flaring hot and oozing red!
ReplyDeleteAnd...if you're feeling a might backed up, don't be stupid and offer up your nasty ol' fucking shit filled ass! PLEASE!
Rafa
P.S. So you DO like my hat...
Sassy, I think I might have a little more sass in my fras, than you're giving me credit for.
ReplyDeleteNext thing I know, you'll start calling me "nice", too. FUCK, do you know ANYONE "interesting" to EVER get laid?!? SORRY, but, I THINK NOT! Interesting is code for, "funny guy, but I ain't fucking him!"
It's ok, though, I've been called worse, and still found my way so far up his asshole, he used my dick as his tongue...
Rafa
Hey, NFB, I realize that I might be a little more particular about my asshole then the average Joe Fuck, but still... Does anybody really want to get naked with a stinky butt bouncing about? I mean, seriously, it makes me want to vomit with just the thought of a sweaty, bouncing ass start'n to bubble and brew with hot, liquid shit oozing outta someone's ass 'cause they didn't clean it proper before bumping boots.
ReplyDeleteCall me crazy...
Rafa
ROFLMFAO!! This is the 3rd time! It does seem to be becoming a habit. Maybe I'm not kryptonite after all!!
ReplyDeleteSomehow I believe you will NEVER have to give up your Gay card Darling.
♥
CoreyJo
AHHH! Rafa is back to his clear cut and decisive words with descriptive adjectives, verbs and just that plain old "FUCK" way of explaining and making you understand. Ok with me. Yes, clean your fuckin' ass before it's rimmed of fuct. If I keep mine clean for you then why in the FUCK can't you reciprocate? WHAT THE FUCK? But is just cleaning the outside enough? After a good crap wipe it and then enamize it to remove the crap that may remain in the colon for a sensational clean.
ReplyDeleteAnd it is! Believe me. No rimming or fuckin' if you've had any sickness until it is over with cause there sure is alot of really nasty bacteria down there.
Hope you are back to feeling yourself Rafa.
Denis
.
ReplyDeleteCorey Jo, I sure hope you're right, 'cause if I have to give up my gay card, you will be the first one I hunt down and FUCK! I'll tell you so many damnable lies, whilst I'm digg'n at your chute, my cock will grow and grow and GROW 'till your ass explodes from the inside out.
ReplyDeleteI may not get my gay card back, but, least ways, I'll drain my balls in the process!
Rafa
P.S. In your dreams...right?!? HA HA
Beautiful Denis, if I ain't cussing as I explain things, I don't care if the turtle is poking it's head or not; get the FUCK off the crapper and call 911!
ReplyDeleteRafa
P.S. I've missed you, my friend! You always crack me up!
Uhm...I've heard of the strong, silent type, but...seriously?!?
ReplyDeleteDAMN! Almost makes me wish you would lose your gay card. But alas, I couldn't wish that on you. You are who you are and I love you all more because of it.
ReplyDelete♥
CoreyJo
Rafa obviously has balls, so it's not surprising he broached this topic. Good job, guy!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that's less sensual than going in up to the root and bumping into a big turd ... is going in to a slimy mess. ewwwww.
An ass that generates slimy messes means you are eating junk, and/or you have a health problem such as endocrine dysfunction. Fix it! Don't let corporate America poison you on large amounts of gluten and GMOs.
The commercial that said "don't leave home without it!" means that compact anal douche kit! Use it. And it's always nice to tidy up with something that is edible, tastes good, and lubricates. Coconut oil works for me.
Eddie
Hey Eddie, sorry for the long wait in getting a response back, but, I always feel later is better than never...
ReplyDeleteBefore Mark dumped my ass the first time (stupid fuck didn't realize what he was gonna be missing), back in college, he taught me 2 givens in gaydom; first being, ALWAYS wear a glove (can't trust cock, no matter how pretty, no matter how heartfelt) and two being even if I was 1010% sure I wasn't getting laid that night, keep my goddamn ass CLEAN!
And you are right, the easiest way to keep a clean ass, is eating the right foods and not junk up on all the garbage people stuff in their faces.
Lastly, we must be two cocks from the same ass, as I love to use coconut on my ass chops. I use a coconut cream that leads my stallion to ass every time AND leaves me absolutely butter soft...
HaHa
Rafa